One of the things about being on a learning curve is that what you do in the moment never seems good enough.  A couple of years ago I didn’t like everything I drew because it was early days and the whole point of graphic facilitation (drawing pictures to conversations in the moment) is that it doesn’t have to be fine art.

But now as I start to explore, I’m getting more dissatisfied.  This looks too childish I think, the colours don’t work, it doesn’t look professional enough.

Well of course not I think, how can it I’m at the start of this creative journey?

I guess that’s partly what I wanted to talk about, how do you keep focused on the journey and stay connected to what makes you feel passionate, especially when it seems like you’re not sure about what you are doing?

I start by tuning into jazz fm and slowly, slowly begin to unwind.

I pick a card from one of my favourite card decks and see what comes up,

‘All things in moderation’ says one,

Hmm, what’s that go to do with anything?

Imagination – ‘inner child’ says another,

“Everything happens for a reason” I think.

I’m happy to reassure myself that you are where you are meant to be at any given time and I’m moving into new territory.

Maybe the message that I’m getting is to listen to what’s not working, to look at my weaknesses and develop them, to focus on feedback rather than on criticism.

In other words, ‘look at the bigger picture and stop staring at the detail!’

Ha that’s a challenge!

I know this blog is about growing ‘peace’ but sometimes, sometimes I just slip back into old ways.  Take this morning for instance, what a way to start Monday morning!!

It’s the fourth call to BT in as many weeks, I’ve only had the service since 3rd January.  Now don’t let me bore you with the details, lets just say I get MEGA satisfaction from a strop.

What’s different nowadays is that I’m so much nicer to customer services on the other end, especially when they are helpful which isn’t very often.

The thing is sometimes I think I’m on a one woman crusade to get people in the UK to stand up for their rights.

Why is it that people are always give me bad looks when I’m complaining at Tesco, too loud maybe but hey, how many times have you been overcharged, add it up over the year and times by a few million quid,

That’s a lot of money?

And I know it’s stiff up lip and all that but it’s you that’s getting stuffed, usually from companies that can well afford it, I can’t, can you.

Sometimes Peace is…….a good moan.

Why not give it a try?

Until next time!

I am blessed to have some wonderful women in my life, not least of which is my 15 year old daughter Ayana.  She is such a young ‘wise woman’ and I find myself constantly being surprised and greateful for some of the feedback that I get from her.  I tell her some of the challenges that I’m faced with, even at this age she grasps what is important and what is not.

Right now I’m grappling with fear and reluctance.   I quite like the niche that I have build around myself, less money coming in, but less ‘doing’ in the world as well.  More creativity, more allowing myself to work on my illustrations which is becoming increasingly  important and less driven or motivated by money and status.

I have some choices over the next 18 months and I feel like I have some work in progress that I want to offer to the world, some service, something therapeutic and creatively healing. I’m being driven by that inner intuition!

But it’s hard to get that out into the world.  At the illustration class that I was doing last year, some of the work was fantastic but everyone was somehow reluctant to release it into the world, is that a womens thing??

Tonight I found my Wacom Bamboo Fun graphics tablet that I bought when I was in Canada in 2009, it was buried at the bottom of a cupboard.  It felt like a symbol or something so let’s see where it leads.

The point is this blog is about finding peace and naming how it happens, it’s not just suddenly thrust upon you, usually it’s the realisation of the small things that bring you joy and allowing that in, being able to accept what works, feeding your spirit and your creativity calling forth ‘peaceful energy’.

So here’s to peace, until next time!